I’ve had a few conversations over the last couple weeks where people have commented how awesome it is to see how my sisters and I have rallied together to support and take care of our mom after her stroke. Many of them have said, “I don’t think my own family would do that,” or “Not many families would do what you guys are doing,” or “It’s really cool to see that she has family at her side all the time.” And it strikes a chord with me every time I hear comments like that. Because it never occurred to me to do or think otherwise. Isn’t that just what families are supposed to do when times get tough?
I believe God knew all along that this would happen to my mom and that’s why He made it so my mom would have five daughters – enough children to sustain round-the-clock care – to honor her wishes to never be left alone in a hospital or nursing facility. He made it so one daughter was ready to move on from her job right when it all happened, and so, she was able to be with mom while she was in between jobs. He made it so another daughter had the kind of flexibility to work remotely as needed, and so, she was able to cover many hours during the day. He made it so two daughters live in the same home that mom would stay in for a while, so there’d be extra hands to help out.
It’s hard to see God’s work in the darkness. It’s hard to understand God’s reasons in moments of pain. But if you have faith that He is never absent in our trouble and trust in His rescue, you start to see the beauty and the light amid the cracks.
And even though God made it all so, doesn’t mean any of it was (and still is) easy or smooth. As it goes with siblings, you have your moments of irritation and frustration with each other. Someone is doing more, someone isn’t pulling their weight. You have conflicting viewpoints on decisions about mom’s care. Someone thinks we should try meds to help her anxiety at bedtime. Someone thinks we should wait and not put her on any more meds. At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong answer, basis for comparison, and room for egos.
At the end of the day, we simply need to be there for our mom and for each other. Because…we’re family.
God gave us our earthly families as a reflection of His love for us. It’s up to us to uphold His love by honoring our families…through the good, the bad and the ugly.
