Last weekend, we ripped the band-aid and decided to go all in on potty training. This decision was made easier by the fact that Mackenzie had already started going potty on the toilet every day last week – just not consistently and still with a diaper on. It was like she turned three, a flip switched and suddenly she was ready to go potty in the toilet.
Contrary to popular opinion, we waited until she was ready. Trust me, that wasn’t an easy road because I wanted and expected her to be potty-trained well before she turned three. So as three started drawing nearer and nearer, and she showed zero interest in going on the potty, I started to doubt the whole waiting thing. But I’m glad I trusted my mama instincts. I know my girl, and she has NEVER responded well to being coerced into doing something she wasn’t ready for – whether it was taking her first bottle, eating solid foods, crawling, taking her first steps, transitioning out of a sleep sack.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like we didn’t still gently push her along even if we were met with resistance. In those instances, we knew she was ready but just needed that extra nudge (like transitioning from a bassinet in our room to a crib in her own room, sleep training, weaning her off of breastfeeding, weaning her off of a bottle, etc.). But I know from my fellow mama friends that potty training is not for the faint of heart. I cut the gentle nudging off at the adamant, “No” I would get whenever I even hinted at going on the potty.
Now that we’re past the hardest first three days, I can honestly look back and say that waiting until she was ready made the whole potty training process so much easier for us. That may not work for every family and I totally get and respect that. I’ve read the books and blogs that say if you wait until your child is ready, you’ll be waiting forever because they will never be ready. Or that if you wait too long, you’re more likely to experience power struggles with potty training. And those are real and valid arguments for not waiting until they’re ready. Like I said, whatever works for your L.O. and your family is what’s best. For us, it was best to wait.
Here’s how it all went down:
All week, we were hinting at the fact that she would get to wear underwear soon like a big girl and that diapers were going away.
Friday afternoon, I took her to Target and let her pick out her special underwear to get her excited about wearing them. That night, I put away the diapers.
Saturday morning, we had her go potty right when she woke up. And she actually pooped too! Rock star. She asked to put diapers on and I told her that diapers were all gone. It was time to wear her special underwear she picked out.
We had her wear a shirt and underwear (no pants) all day. I didn’t opt for the bare-bottom method because I felt like she was far enough along with knowing that she had to go potty before anything leaked out – which is the main reason why bare-bottom is recommended – easier to catch accidents earlier and get them on the toilet faster without the hassle of taking off underwear.
Then, we pumped her with fluids, kept a close eye on her, and reminded her to tell us when she needed to go potty every 30-45 minutes. We got through day 1 with only two accidents – one while she was watching a movie (which in a couple books I read, you’re warned NOT to let them do because it’s too distracting, but she went through the entire morning without accidents so we decided to give it a try anyway) and the other right after nap (parent fail). Side note that during nap, I kept the underwear on and just put a diaper over it so she would still feel wet without getting furniture wet. 🙂 And she woke up with a dry diaper!
When getting ready for bed, we made sure she went potty again to get her into the habit of always going potty before bedtime and to get it all out of her system so she’ll (fingers crossed) stay dry all night.
At bedtime, we put her “sleeping underwear” on (aka Pull-Ups) right before going to bed so she wouldn’t be running around with them on – intending them to only be worn when sleeping. I’m waiting for a consistently dry Pull-Up for 5-7 days before transitioning to underwear at night. Not quite there yet but that’s okay. One step at a time. 🙂
On Sunday, we repeated the whole process. She had three accidents and pooped again! But this time, she was more aware and scared about pooping in the toilet, which I read is totally normal. Hugging her while she sat on the toilet seemed to help. And she did try to get off the toilet because she didn’t want to poop in it, to which we firmly told her that poop belongs in the toilet and that pooping in her underwear is “yucky.” We were still met with tears but had to stand firm. And then we tried to make it fun (it makes funny “plop plop plop” sounds, how many can you count?) – honestly, whatever it takes at this point. Chad had to hug her on the toilet for 25 minutes to get her to poop one morning. What a great dad. 🙂
A couple things to note – instead of asking her if she needed to go potty, which will almost always be an automatic “No” even if she did need to go, we either said “Tell me when you need to go potty” to get her thinking about it or “Let’s go potty/It’s time to go potty.” This approach was especially helpful before bedtime, right away in the morning, and when she was too busy playing and didn’t want to be pulled away.
We never got angry or upset at her for having an accident. We went in with the mindset that accidents are inevitable and getting angry will only set her back and bring on negative associations with going on the potty. Two things we definitely didn’t want to happen.
We also did not give her rewards (stickers, candy, toys) for going potty on the toilet, which goes against a few things I’ve read about potty training. I wanted her motivation to be intrinsic. So every time she went potty, I would say something like, “Aren’t you so proud that you went potty on the toilet like a big girl?” or “Great job keeping your underwear dry!” That worked for her but I get how rewards would work well too.
We’re almost a week into potty training as I write this, and so far I can’t complain. I was nervous about her going back to daycare but she’s done great. And even going to a public place has been a little nerve-wracking but she’s got it down. We were at the grocery store the other night and she said she had to go potty. I took her to the bathroom and she did just fine – no leakage or accidents! I’m sure it’ll happen in public at some point but I’m so proud of how far she’s come in such a short amount of time. My little boo boo is growing up too fast!
If you’re thinking about potty training or are on the verge, I hope this post helps a little. Every kid is different and will respond in their own way but I wanted to share our experience in case it helps spark some ideas. Good luck!