I just finished reading Bob Merritt’s latest book, “Done With That,” which I highly recommend if you’re looking for some spiritual inspo. In a nutshell, it talks about how we need to let go of our old life to begin a new life in relationship with God. To let go of an old life of sin into a new life of joy.
One of the starting points to getting there is to work on what he calls your signature sin. A signature sin is that one destructive behavior that you keep on doing again and again no matter how many times you swear you’ll never do it again. So how do you find it? Start with what you’re good at, because our strongest quality or ability is often where our greatest vulnerability lies.
He gave a few examples to help us understand how that translates:
- Strength: Strong leader; Weakness: Pride
- Strength: Life of the party; Weakness: Never serious
- Strength: Factual and measured; Weakness: Stoic and unfeeling
- Strength: Intelligent; Weakness: Arrogance and impatience
- Strength: Responsible; Weakness: Judgmental and intolerant
I’ll be the first to admit, impatience and being a tad judgmental are huge signature sins of mine (yes, I am saying I have two signature sins). That stems from a strong quality of being empathetic. While I will feel your pain and understand your emotions and will always be a shoulder to cry on, I will also get frustrated and impatient if you don’t do something about it or take my advice (be it right or wrong – even though I’ll always think I give good advice 😉 ).
It all comes from a good place but is it good? No, because I am not the ultimate say in anyone’s life – God is. Why am I expending energy on being impatient over something I have no control over? Why can’t I just be understanding without judgment? I’m cringing as I write this because who wants to admit any negative thing about themselves? But I want to be honest with myself and my readers – to put it out there to hold me accountable to being better.
An important point that Bob makes about signature sins is that the goal is not to achieve perfection but rather, to improve, because realistically we cannot completely rid ourselves of our signature sins. We’re human, after all. And being aware of our signature sin is a huge first step towards improving. Taking charge of what we think and resolving that we’re done with that is the next step before the real work begins, with God by your side. “It’ll always require humility and a daily invitation to God’s Spirit to keep working on us, convicting us of the sharp edges and giving us the spiritual desire and ability to overcome.” (pg. 89)
Another important point about improving? Willpower isn’t enough. Changing outward behavior alone isn’t enough. Inner transformation by God’s Spirit is where the real soul-changing happens. Because “our sinful tendencies have hidden sides that only God can see and only He has the power to root out.”
I want to improve on my signature sins of impatience and judgment because I want to be a good role model for my daughter. I want to be a good wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend and colleague. We – myself and God – are working on it.
What’s your signature sin?